TheHiveLeader’s Guide to Healing In MMOs

[Music] so you've decided to play a healer will congratulations you're joining an elite team of masochist who love being blamed ridiculed and shamed for absolutely everything that goes wrong in your group if you've ever watched one of my videos you probably know that I am one of the select few stupid enough to pick this class and with the release of Final Fantasy 14 we have a lot of new people playing in the Mo's so today I'm here to give a few lessons to those who are considering the role of healer so follow me you can't see it right now but I'm leaving lesson number one it's your fault this is the most important lesson to remember when choosing to play a healer uh-oh it looks like your group just wiped let's examine why is the answer a your DPS did not kill something fast enough B someone failed to follow the proper fight mechanics see the take failed to keep proper aggro off the rest of the group or D all of the above hmm the correct answer is e it's your fault clearly the group's health is at zero it's your job to make sure that the group's health is not that way your fault at this point you will be unceremoniously kicked from the group and replaced like the cheap [ __ ] that you are the faster you get used to this the faster you can get to lesson 2 lesson 2 you're not a person you are a tool a dime-a-dozen the game made you the game could replace you if you can't do it someone else can and will unless someone is in need of a resurrect or what's an instant group Q you are scum and no one will ever let you forget it lesson 3 you speak a different language whether or not everyone in your group speak the same language they cannot understand you example you say hey guys I would appreciate it if you wouldn't stand in the red circles if you do you're gonna die and I can't heal you and this is what your group hears remember this unless it's spoken by the tank or the DPS with the highest numbers no one cares Lesson four ready checks don't apply to you example the tank does already check to see if everyone is ready to fight the next big boss but you're out of mana from that last big battle naturally you click no it will only take a few seconds for your mandatory general too bad the tanks going in why did he go in when you obviously click no refer to lesson 2 with a group and neva tably wipes because you only had a sliver of mana to begin with refer to lesson 1 lesson number 5 you're not a person but wait didn't I already say this yes I did lesson number 6 you are a god remember you hold the power to life and thereby indirectly hold the power to death as well feel free to use this responsibility as loosely as possible tell your group this often they're not listening anyway let someone die just to let them know you're serious make them fear you and beg for mercy each and every battle make them aware of what a petty and vengeful God you are but what does this have to do with being a better healer nothing these lessons are here to help you deal with the massive amounts of you're going to deal with on just your first dungeon run if you decide to run a second dungeon congratulations you've given up on having a soul now it's time to be a better healer tip number 1 unclutter once you get higher level you may notice that you have action bars full of heal spells these can only cause confusion and brain aneurisms simplify and get rid of that junk most of them are useless anyway and we're only put in the game to give the animators something to do tip number two just remember this simple acronym boobas at use your biggest heal spells all the time it's so simple a monkey could remember just say it with me ooh bubah move it what was it again ooh listen use your biggest heal spells all the time forget anything having to do with cast i mana costs situation numbers are all that matters everyone will be so impressed with how much you heal for they won't care whether or not they're dead because you didn't kill them in time or ran out of mana they might even be so impressed they'll forget about lesson number one tip number three know the order of importance when healing you cannot always save everyone sometimes you have to make a choice remember your priorities first and foremost you because dumb your second priority is any player that may potentially be a romantic interest to you it may be a man playing that female character but let's face it that's a risk you just can't take after that who really cares tip number four you don't only have to heal sometimes healing is just a bit too easy instead why don't you add some extra DPS to that group sure your damage is probably negligible compared to your DPS brethren and sure this may kill everyone in your group but in that rare instance where you have a doubt DPS someone else in the group you can proceed to humiliate them to absolutely no end in fact add that person to your friends list and group with them as often as possible send them random messages just to remind them of that wonderful time tip number five survival of the fittest yes it applies to healing as well if you have a group member who constantly refuses to follow the rules is always standing in those nasty red circles or is it overall asshat do not bother to heal them God has selected them for extinction letting them live would only be encouraging them with these lessons and tips in hand you are now ready to take on the horrific task of healing in an MMO and at the end of the day when you start to feel like maybe you just can't take it anymore remember the healers motto there's a time to take damage there's a time to deal it there's a time to ignore all else and do your best to heal it then there's a time to laugh while they all burn everyone thanks for watching do you want to stay updated with future videos then make sure to click that little subscribe button you can also follow me on Twitter the link is in the description below and if you really want to help me out make sure to share this video with anyone you think might enjoy it if you want to watch some of my other videos then you can click on them right here you can also visit our website for more reviews of games TV movies and more [Music]

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